live life big...

it's tough to be patient.

Winter will be officially over in 4 weeks. But each day of snow and cold can seem like the longest day of your life.

Life however is not measured (or at least it shouldn’t be), as what we “got through” or “got over.” We have a habit of wanting things to be done, finished, like yesterday, already!

Slow down, be patient. 

Remember your memories are sacred (or should be). Did you hug your kids before they tumbled out into the snow? Did you toss a toy to your dog? Enjoy those moment. 

Life is about loving and learning. Share the love while you’re plowing through your winter. You have so much to enjoy! Life life & live it big (it helps having a big dog)!

Tell your story...

Come to the Days Hotel on March 22, 2014 in Bethlehem, PA.

Your story needs to be told. People want to read what you write.

For more info: http://greaterlehighvalleywritersgroup.wildapricot.org/WriteStuff

Dear Mommies, please don't stress about the potty...

Are your stressing right now over potty training?

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It’s one of the milestones of toddler-hood. Teaching your baby correct control of their little bladder is such an important benchmark that some pediatricians consider it an unofficial mark of the end of toddler age.

But you may be wondering why you’ve exhausted yourself to make sure she goes ON the potty instead of whenever she pleases in her diaper. They get it eventually.

Yet, mommies are between a rock and a hard place. It must be done. Some pre-school centers won’t take children until they are potty trained. I’m sure that changing Pull-ups puts a halt to curriculum. I don’t think it should be used as a measure of whether or not a child can learn or should learn. It seems a little extreme. Odd, too, because it’s been shown that when non-potty trained children are around other children who are potty trained, non-potty trained toddlers learn faster.

If there was one piece of advice I could give to mommies at this stage, it is relax. They do learn. They become functional adults who toilet themselves and use the restrooms with independence. Further, there’s no indication that early or late potty training does nothing to affect bed wetting or “accidents” in pre-school or later on in life.

Oh I know, easy for me to say, now that I’m out of the woods. You may be rolling your eyes, “Sure right, I’m down to one Pull-up and there’s a snowstorm and no chance of getting to Target for supplies!” But I would still say relax, you’ve got this. Your ace in the hole—you are the mommy, they are the child. You have gravitas and authority. Much more than you know.

Be calm, don't bribe (too much), and don't threaten. And I'm here to tell you, they will learn!

A new year, a new start

There's something about the sea that draws people. Much like every January, we say goodbye and look forward to the beginning. At the beach we see the end of the land and the beginning of water.

We can go on a journey or we can stay on shore and wait for a return.

Where are you this year?
Are you embarking?
returning?
Awaiting?

A widow for Christmas

Imagine spending the holidays without your spouse. The grief gets doubled when you have young children. And all they want is mommy or daddy back. For things to be normal and happy—they were they were before the death of their parent.

It will be the 4^th Christmas my sister and her three boys spend without him. Husband and father are no longer words in their daily lexicon. The boys don’t get dad to play Santa again. My sister doesn’t get a special kiss under the mistletoe. This is their new normal. Deep down the family that surrounds her—on both sides--feel awkward and helpless. We know nothing of being single against our will. We’ll smile and pass out gifts, secretly praying that we could win the lottery and make life smoother as she struggles with day care and school and holiday things. Heck, we wish we could win the lottery to make our own lives smoother. The only thing we can do now, is struggle alongside of her.

I once interviewed a man who was 101 years old. Some think of age as a blessing, others a curse. He thought of it in terms of the people he missed. I said to the old man: “If you stood before God and could ask one question, what would it be?” Without hesitating he said: “I would ask why did He allow me to find two women I loved so much only to take them both away. Why did you do that God?” It has been over decade since I spoke to the old man. I believe he now has his answer.

I don’t know why bad things happen to good people. I don’t know why my sister has to be alone at Christmas again. It’s not fair. I don’t have the answer. I can only say to her:  You are valued and beautiful and if you find love again, he will be the luckiest man on the planet.

wrap yourself in a warm quilt and snuggle on the couch...

Today is Black Friday...ugh

But for lovers, it's Blessings Friday.
While many are invading the malls and retail stores, to buy things. Today is actually a the perfect day for lovers to count the blessing of each other in their lives.

Today is the day for leftovers. For naps and snuggles. Movie time, relaxing time, precious alone time.

Build it up now while you can. While the relatives have gone shopping or home and the kids and pets are (hopefully) sleeping.

These are the quite times that you can talk about future plans. Not just about what to do for Christmas or next year, but what plans you have for each other. These are the blessing times. The times to remember and plan.

A weekend away, a working vacation, a cruise. Talk about what the two of you want to do together.

Hurry, the kids are waking up...

Love ain't nothing if it ain't foolish.

    --Old French Proverb

Trust the French, notorious for the art of romance, to come up with some rather corny love advice. But they're right. Love makes us do really stupid things. And those stupid things remind us that when we love, we are all in. There isn't a player (or a lover) who can claim to have his or her head in the game, if they aren't willing to take risks. The risks that will make them look like a hero or a fool. And then, keep taking those risks until they win.

That's love. Forget the game plan, just go for it!