new year, new view

By now, you've heard the numerous resolutions made by family and friends (maybe you've made a few): lose weight, get fit, improve health and make a fresh start. In general, be a better person.

Here's one for you this year: Make this the year you take a whole new view--of you.

As women and mommies, we often look at ourselves through a very narrow prism. We see our mistakes and failings more plainly than our own reflections. Sure, it's easy to see the spots, imperfections and flaws. We've been trained as mommies to have that critical eye to discern what's wrong or out of place. Don't get me wrong, striving for perfection is a good thing. Beating ourselves up because we didn't have the right diaper bag or matching socks, is not.

Expand your view of yourself this year with a gentle eye. Forgive yourself. Become your biggest cheerleader, not your worst critic. Extract what lessons you can from the mistakes and move on. Honestly no one in Target will remember the mommy who lost the sippy cup. Your embarrasment, like a dirty diaper, is uncomfotable but temporary.

Relax Mommies, you've got this.

p.s. and if you did lose that sippy cup, try this replacement: Munchkin Click-Count Sippy Cup (it comes in a 2-pak)

Holiday hectic

Dear Mommies,

Do have a place you can go this holiday season? A place that's quiet, maybe snow covered and out of the way--so no one can find you?

While everyone talks about shopping and activities for the kiddies and baking and entertaining, I'd like to talk to you about hiding.

That's right mommies, hide. I don't mean runaway from home or disappear while your toddler is on time out. But,  settle everyone down and find your quiet spot. Refill your well. Nap, pray, knit, watch Hallmark, just remove yourself from the holiday fray.

Let go of your expectations and your invitations. You'll be happier if you smile more and worry less about the how the cookies turned out.

How will find your hiding spot?

Relax mommies you've got this!

time away

Dear Mommies,

When you go away even for a moment from your babies do you miss them? Of course you do.
But are there times when you know the separation is necessary or deserved?

I think of the patients who came into contact with the Ebola virus who must undergo quarantine. Can you imagine being separated 21 days from your little munchkins? But you know that you would do anything to protect them even if it meant being away from them. The awful scenario of infecting your own child would be too much to bear.

And then there's the situation of a stay-at-home mommy who has two little ones that she is also homeschooling. Talk about an overachiever! But this mommy was given the chance to go to Europe for a brief, 4-day, stay. She hesitated and thought she should wait until her children were a little older. But then the opportunity would not present itself again. She went ahead and made the trip. Although she missed her babies, she had a wonderful time seeing London and Paris.

It was a trip of a lifetime. Now she has stories and experiences to share with her children. And her children were able to live without her for a brief time and without separation anxiety too!

Have you ever been away from your baby?

Relax mommies you've got this.

It's okay to be scared

Dear Mommies,

It's that time of year when little kids put on masks, demand candy and then run around like crazy. Or maybe I have that backwards?

Every year, the costumes seem to get scarier and scarier. There's more gore, more horror movies and more games that extol bloodshed. I don't think kids should be exposed to that stuff. They don't always have the ability to put things in perspective.

Here's what they see:

Here's what it really looks like (magnified):

Our little ones see things on a much different scale than we do. And that's why I think we need to protect them (for a little while longer) from horror and gore. We ought to check under the beds for monsters and tell them that zombies are fake. And that it's okay to be scared. They will learn all too quickly about the ghoulish realities of things like heartbreak, failure, divorce, unemployment, cancer and death.

Encourage your little ones to tell you when and why they are fearful. Tell them about the things you were scared of as a little kid (I was scared of spiders!). What was your big childhood fear?

Relax mommies, you got this!

They grow up so fast...

Dear Mommies,

Thinking of you as I attended a wedding. Toddlers aplenty. Although it’s one of my favorite things to do—toddler watch--I was more thinking about us. Most especially all we’ve given up.

When we fell in love we began a series of "letting go." Many of us had to move out of somewhere into somewhere else—we gave up our old homes. Maybe it was a good move but for most, we gave up something at the very least that were used to.

We got married and had to give up our names. (Even if you hyphenate, it’s still giving up your name.)

We gave up a whole bed. When the babies come along, we had to give up sleep altogether.

We gave up spending time on ourselves on little things like hair, nails, makeup—not enough time. 

These sacrifices do not go unnoticed. They are repaid—never in kind—but they are repaid. They are repaid at joy of birth, the small sighs of a contented sleeping infant, the first words, the first steps smiles and “I love you’s." They are unique and common at the same time and they are worth the letting go's and giving up's.

At celebrations like weddings its a wonderful time to treasure them.

What is your favorite "repayment?"

It's about ponytails

Dear Mommies,

There's nothing more fun than doing hair.

Moms and daughters know this. Just take a moment and comb her hair, brush out the tangles and braid.
Ponytails and pigtails remind us of the fun and innocence of little girls.

This was a fun Fourth of July borrowed creation from Facebook. You start with three ponytails. Divide two in half and twist all five sections to creation the "star" pattern above.

Oh, and pray that you cath your daughter on a good day!

Make Grandma (and Grandpa) Happy this summer

                                                           

Babies and grandmas. They go together like kisses and hugs.

Moms & dads, one simple thing to put on your bucket list:

Take pictures of the nanas or ompahs or grannies or grandmas or grams, with your babies this summer.

In one photo, you can capture the true mark of time and happiness.

Happy summer!